When you’re caring for someone living with dementia, it’s easy for your own needs to slip to the bottom of the list. There’s always something else to do, someone else to think about, another task that feels more urgent than sitting down. But consistently putting yourself last has a cost — and eventually that cost affects not just you, but the quality of care you’re able to give.
Making time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s part of the job.
Why It Matters
Caring without regular breaks leads, over time, to exhaustion, stress, and burnout. The research is clear and so is the lived experience of most carers: you cannot sustain compassionate, patient, attentive care when you are running on empty.
Taking time for yourself:
- Reduces the risk of burnout — regular rest and enjoyable activity significantly lower cumulative stress
- Supports physical health — rest allows your body to recover and reduces the risk of illness
- Improves emotional wellbeing — time away from the caring role helps manage anxiety and maintain perspective
- Makes you a better carer — when you feel refreshed, your capacity for patience and compassion is genuinely greater
Practical Ways to Make Time for Yourself
Schedule short breaks into the day
Even ten or fifteen minutes can make a difference if used intentionally. A cup of tea without a screen, a few minutes outside, or a short breathing exercise can help you reset before the next demand arrives. These moments don’t need to be grand — they just need to happen.
Engage in something you enjoy
Reading, gardening, walking, crafting, listening to music or a podcast — whatever brings you genuine pleasure, protect time for it regularly. It isn’t wasted time. It’s maintenance.
Use respite care
Respite care exists precisely for this purpose — to give carers longer breaks so they can recharge properly. Options include day centres, in-home care services, and short residential stays. If you haven’t explored what’s available locally, your GP or local council can point you in the right direction.
Ask for help
Family members and friends often want to help but don’t know how. Be specific — “Could you sit with Mum for two hours on Thursday?” is much easier to say yes to than a general offer of help. People rarely say no to a clear, concrete request.
Prioritise sleep
Sleep is foundational. Without it, everything else becomes harder — patience, decision-making, emotional regulation, physical health. If night-time caring is disrupting your sleep regularly, this is worth raising with your GP as a priority rather than something to manage indefinitely on your own.
Connect with other carers
Joining a carer support group provides emotional relief and genuine connection with people who understand the role from the inside. That sense of not being alone in it is valuable in ways that are hard to quantify.
On Guilt
Most carers feel guilty when they take time for themselves. It’s worth naming that directly: the guilt is understandable, and it’s also not a reliable guide to what’s right. Taking a break doesn’t mean you care less. It means you’re trying to sustain something that matters — and that requires looking after yourself too.
The Carers Meditation Podcast
If you’re looking for something you can actually do in a short break — something designed specifically for carers and that requires nothing more than a few quiet minutes — the Carers Meditation Podcast from Young At Heart ULO CIC offers free guided meditations created with unpaid carers in mind.
Listen at youngatheartulo.org.uk/carers-meditation-podcast
You matter in this too. Not just as a carer — as a person. And the better you look after yourself, the more sustainably you can be there for the person you support.
Carer wellbeing is something we take seriously in the Getting to Know Dementia programme — particularly in Part 6, where we explore what it means to be an advocate, build a support team, and look after yourself alongside the person you care for. Find out more about the programme and upcoming dates.
Sources
- Alzheimer’s Society. Help for Carers. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-for-carers
- Dementia UK. Looking After Yourself as a Carer. https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/looking-after-yourself-as-a-carer/
- NHS. Carer’s Break and Respite Care. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/support-and-benefits-for-carers/carer-breaks-and-respite-care/
- Young At Heart ULO CIC Carers Meditation Podcast: https://www.youngatheartulo.org.uk/?page_id=5868